Owchy...

Frog is owchy today.

Just as I was about to walk out the door to take her to daycare... she started scratchng at a bite on her leg, and next minute was white as a ghost and throwing up.

Quick detour to the doctor and he checks out what seems to be a rather nasty spider bite. So back home to rest up on the couch in front of her favourite movies, and mum hoping to get somewhere in this wasteland we supposedly call "home". 

I don't feel particularly housewifey right now...

I want to go back to work. I want to make a financial contribution to our partnership again. I want to see real people that aren't on Facebook. I want to use my brain instead of singing "The Wheels On The Bus" one hundred times a day. I want to feel like I matter, and that I have a purpose in life.

I've just been knocked back from yet another job - despite being well qualified, and going back for two interviews. The feedback I received was "You were a really strong candidate but unfortunately we have not given the position to you this time." Whihc makes no sense because if I was such a strong freaking candidate why haven't I got the job?


Do I look wrong? Is it because I don't have on a Chanel suit and Jimmy Choo heels? 


Is there something in the way I speak? Do I snort when I breathe?

Is it because I have children, and despite having adequate care for them you think I'm going to be at home every second day because my kid's got the sniffles?


Does the fact that I am good at what I do, and intend to move up through the ranks, intimidate you?

Do I have spinach in my teeth?


WTF is wrong with me??

I'm almost at breaking point with this whole looking for work thing.I have written hundreds of cover letters, when I do manage to make it to an interview they (seem to be) pretty fabulous.... so what is this one thing that is kicking me in the butt? I can't find it, even after spending nights and nights awake taking every little thing apart over and over again.

I even was knocked back from one job (in the neighbouring Hicksville) because I would have to travel to work. Even though I made it quite clear I was happy to travel because I A) applied for the job, and B) made it quite clear to them that I HAD to travel because there was just no work in my Hicksville. That was the sole reason I didn't get the job and I felt royally ripped off.


I would sell my soul for a job right now. It's so unfair.

And every day I see local women working in new jobs, or three different jobs, or where their friends work, even though they don't have the qualifications, the experience, or anything except the right name. 


Small town syndrome makes me see red every day I have to live here. But so far even the major attempts to find a job where we can relocate have been totally unsuccessful. If you don't live there you aren't taken seriously.... you can't live there until someone gives you a job. 


SHEESH

I'm off to churn out another fifty cover letters, crack a bottle of chardy and hope things look sweeter tomorrow.