Cheapskate Tuesday

I'm getting good at this cheapskate thing...

But I'll let you in on a secret.... I HATE it. I want to spend money. On anything I like just because I like it and that should be bloody good enough. I want a new couch. I know mine still lets me sit on it without sagging, and is quite funky (and washable) but I have moved enough times to have an insane loathing of it that wells up every time I glance in it's direction and think of the backbreaking agony it has caused trying to fit it through doorways for the last five years.

WonderMan is with me on this. He does not like going shopping with me because I am a complete grocery Nazi. This does have it's advantages in that he stays home with the children while I shop in peace..... but it's not much fun considering the overwhelming stress of sticking to budget and not being able to afford pork or prawns even though they are my favourite foods.

I want to eat fancy cheese. Not homebrand cheddar in a kilo block cut into silly shapes to make me feel better when eating them on my on special rice crackers.

I LIKE esspresso coffee and dislike instant very much, but I drink instant every day because I haven't managed to justify the pennies I would spend on a coffee machine to grace my rented kitchen bench. I do use my budgeted spending money to buy coffee from my favourite cafe a couple of times a week, and yes I could put that money towards the above mentioned coffee machine from heaven but that would mean a LONG time between Cafe Mochas and I just don't think I have strength to survive it.

Fresh food is insanely expensive which is probably why I am struggling to lose weight. It's cheaper to bake biscuits than buy apples. About a third of the price in fact. It's cheaper to buy coke than milk. I live in Hicksville which means no Woolworths, Coles or Aldi for a minimum of 80kms, so I am not in any way benefiting from the price war *DAMN* I also watch Landline which means I feel guilty if I do happen to buy supermarket branded milk and imagine that I am causing farmers down the road to go on holiday to Queensland instead of France this year, which means more of them clogging up my supermarket aisles whinging about how poor they are. (And yes, I do understand the finances of farming, but when you drive a 2011 Landcruiser and just got back from Tahiti like most farmers where I live, you will forgive me my lack of sympathy.)

I am a fashion lover. Every day that I get up and I cannot afford a Fendi clutch KILLS me. I can't even afford to rent one and can't find anywhere to go out where someone might actually know what a Fendi is even if I could. I want cashmere sweaters and silk summer frocks. I want peep toe heels in every colour of the rainbow. I want to buy WonderMan a Rolex, and a Triumph. So that he can look smouldering and sexy before handing me the keys and letting me take it for a ride....

I know that simply going back to work, and saving pennies off my grocery bill will not achieve this. Neither will forgoing my weekly Mocha, which for anyone around me would be a considerable health risk. But it would be nice to be able to go on holiday and not have a "daily spending budget" to ensure we don't go broke half way through and have to eat the grass outside our tent. It would be nice to buy some wardrobe items that matched because they were bought in the same season instead of two years apart, which is about how often we are able to afford new clothes.

I want some fancy in my life.

I want to go to the theatre. And the movies. And to lunch with my friends. I want my kids to not have to be told "no" because we can't afford what everyone else has, I would like the choice of telling them yes or no based on how much I think they really need it or whether I object to it for some made up reason that it's every parents perrogative to have.

A lot of my love of fancy stems from living in a place where ugg boots and Adidas trackies are considered the height of fashion. It must have a label or people treat you like dirt. And no, not the kind of label I'm talking about (like Chanel, or Scanlan and Theodore) they are obsessed with Billabong and Nike, and spend their lives between the pub and the local footy club. Put on a pair of Jimmy Choo heels and (god forbid) a frock, and people stare at you like you grew two heads. Suggest dinner and tickets to a cabaret performance and their brains visibly start melting.

This is why I find it so hard being a cheapskate. Because I don't want the big house and the new car that everyone assumes I want. It's a lifestyle I'm missing.... and the funds to enable us to move to a place where we can enjoy the things we love - like coffee, and wine, and good music. With people who understand that it's not about ensuring yours is bigger and better than what everyone else has - but having access to the things that make life an enjoyable experience.

I would enjoy the heck out of a Fendi clutch I can tell you.