Sleep Allergies

My children have a sleep allergy.

Or possibly a bed intolerance.

Either way, it's driving WonderMan and I to distraction.

Instead of getting to watch tv together, or snuggle in bed and yak about our day, or not yak if you get my drift; we are spending the two minutes before exhaustion hits counting each other's lack-of-sleep related tics to see if any more have arrived overnight.

Tiger is not too bad, although I'm suprised she doesn't have permanent gravel rash on her chin with the long face she pulls every time we ask her to get into her pyjamas. Even though she slid off the couch and banged her head on the floor because she feel asleep sitting up. She then goes to bed and reads for hours despite me wrenching the book out of her cold frozen hands, duct taping her eyes closed and threatening to make her go to school in her pyjamas if she doesn't get up on time tomorrow.

Frog.... well Frog has decided she "no like it Frog bed". She wants to sleep on her fold out couchy thing. In the lounge room. Because something may happen that she misses two seconds of and then, of course, the world will end.

After much negotiation (toddler negotiation.... total oxymoron....) we settled for sleeping on the fold out couch in her room. It's been three nights, and I she still "no like it bed".

3am brings baby elephant footsteps across the hall and into my bedroom. She lifts the quilt, climbs in, tosses and turns, snuggles up and announces "Frog like it mummydaddy bed. I wub you mummy, i sleepit your bed" then turns over and starts snoring. I tried sleeping on the other side to deter her but she just climbs over WonderMan and takes over all but a few inches of my side of the bed. I'm starting to lose weight purely from all the effort required to not fall out.

I suffer from either crushing exhaustion or crippling insomnia. Most times it's a combination of both. If Frog is sleeping, I am wide awake. As soon as my poor tired head decides to finally switch off, she is awake and fighting me for my own share of the blanket.

She sleeps an hour each day that she is at daycare. A perfect hour that leaves her refreshed, balanced, and not a blubbering mess by 4pm. At home she will spend four hours howling "frooooogggg tiiiiiireeeeeed!" but not sleep a wink. By the time WonderMan arrives home from work we are usually both howling amongst the wreckage that is supposed to be our home.

WonderMan sleeps perfectly, the bastard. I quite often wake him up "accidentally" in the middle of the night when Frog is keeping me awake and he has been snoring and drooling on my pillow since 8pm. And I don't feel guilty about this at all because he got off so lightly for the first fifteen months when I was breastfeeding - it wasn't like I could wake him up and say "Your turn dear"....

The good news about being awake at 4am? I get to read all the fabulous blogs I don't have the time for during the day. It's the only time I get to answer all your lovely comments posted here. So in some ways, Frog is at least keeping me from a reputation as a complete and utter snob.

There's a silver lining to everything...