Monday, 31 October 2011

It's Official - It's The Hubby's Fault

WonderMan has been gone for a week now. In this week I have discovered some very interesting things. The most interesting of these is that it is hubby's fault. All of it.

You know what I'm talking about when I say there is never enough time, there kids make such a mess, the housework never ends..... etc, etc and so on.

And most of us believe it's caused by the arrival of our children. And the extra work required when you become a mummy.

Blame the children no longer..... for I have discovered the REAL time-suck.

The sock eater.

The multiple towel user.

The mess megapode.

It's Hubby.

In one week I have spring cleaned my entire house from top to bottom.

I have sorted cupboards and put things in their places.

It was like a kind of reverse nesting after WonderMan left, my way of settling myself into this new way of life we are stuck in until the end of the year.

Since then:

I have not found a single odd sock. They all match. I'm sure WM would take apart perfectly good pairs of socks and wear them separately just to annoy me.

I had three towels in my washing basket. Not THREE LOADS of towels which is my regular count. In fact, there were only three loads in total this week. I previously could be found doing three a day.

Stuff is still where I left it. Every time I want it. Because it gets put away.

 I have been asking for the swing seat to go on the deck since we moved here exactly a year ago. So to mark the anniversary I put it there myself. And it fits fine, and will not bang the house unless one of the kids tries to do a loop-de-loop with it. Contrary to advice from the Procrastination King who insisted it would not fit. HUH.

I have not discovered a single destroyed or badly treated household item. Everything I own is still intact. Including the stuff the toddler can reach.

The cupboard in the hallway gathered dust because of the absence of folded clothes that used to sit there for weeks on end. I had to dust it for the first time ever.

There are no clothes on my bedroom floor. The corner of my bed is no longer permanently damp from the towels that were hung on it every single day.

My kitchen looks a lot bigger. This may have something to do with the "Dishes Mountains" which seem to have vanished. And I have a very shiny sink.

I am enjoying a minimum of 7 hours blissful and uninterrupted sleep a night. With only one very slight nudge from Frog when she hops in for "Mummy cuddles" at 3am. 

My yard no longer contains "feature weeds". 

My car is not a travelling junk drawer.

The list could go on and on... but it all boils down to the fact that I have two kids, a job, a house to run, and plenty of extras thrown in as well.... and it's all getting done.

My parents came over for dinner last night, and my mum told me "I think this is the neatest I have ever seen this house!" 

So there you have it. It's not the kids, it's hubby.

And I'm getting quite anal about my space now. I'm liking this new state of affairs so much I'm starting to wonder if I really want to share a house with him again.

I'm seriously considering renting a house with a granny flat so I can make him live there so as to not mess up my house.

Sorry dear, I hope you don't mind sleeping in the shed, it's not me, it's you, and your ten towel a week habit. Tell you what, $1000 dog can share with you and then you won't get cold mkay?


  1. This had me in stitches. Glad you are feeling better than you were on Friday (which was also a hilarious post I must say)

  2. Thankyou! And yes, I am feeling lots better, Friday hit me like a ton of bricks xx

  3. I Love you!
    When asked how many kids and or pets I have I always include my husband. He is SO clueless & refuses to believe how much of a child he's become!
    I would LOVE it if he would live else where and maybe come by for a visit. Maybe.
    Keep up the honesty!

  4. Thanks :) There are just some days when it's like looking after a gigantic toddler :P


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