Tuesday, 1 May 2012


No really.

Shut up already.

Just. Shut. The. Fuck. Up.

One more mind numbing, brain melting "if this is reality I'm ready to excuse myself from the human race now" program and the TV gets it.

How much drivel can you ingest before those pretty grey cells start dissolving faster than if I poured acid in your ears?

At night I can't sleep for the sound of a billion brain cells crying out for an escape, a respite from the smothering blanket fog of inanity.

When I do watch TV I mostly shout at it. A lot.

It's eerily similar to the scenes enacted every time I go through town and get cut off AGAIN by another knob-jockey with his brain removed who can't negotiate a simple roundabout.

I digress.

There are a lot of programs on television, which although not to my taste, I don't mind and make for good sport if you turn the sound down and make up the words after a few glasses of wine.

Harmless entertainment.

I have no idea what this new wave of mind slag is supposed to be but it is not entertaining. It is like a jackhammer to the sensitivities of anyone who dares to think outside the box. Who *gasp* have original opinions. Who THINK.

It's just hour after hour of drivel and people screaming "Oh. moy. gaaawd!"

Please tell me none of them are allowed to breed.

And before you tell me "If you don't like it don't watch it", I beat you.

I don't. 

Never have.

But you all won't S.T.F.U. about it.

It's on the news (the NEWS!)

It's on the radio every time I get in my car and I throw up a little in my mouth while waiting the one and a half seconds it takes to retune to 891 Adelaide.

It's endlessly debated, turned over and discussed to death on Facebook.

It's. In. My. Twitter.

Waves and waves of detritus seeping into every little bit of the world and I'm drowning.

I can't "mute" the hashtags fast enough.

In a flurry of childish rage I plot my revenge by tweeting throughout the entire Top Gear program every week. 

It makes me feel slightly less aggravated and hopefully aggravates someone else. A lot.

And then this happens and I know there is NO GOD.

So it's time now for me to return to my default setting, lest I burst a blood vessel.

I am the oldest, grumpiest 28 year old I know.

I need a sharp stick and a blue rinse.


  1. Top gear was on last night ;)

    1. I know but it was a repeat, not the new ep! Sooooo whiiiiiny ;)

  2. I hear ya. I live in Finland, meaning that not only do we get the Finnish version of every reality show (Voice of Finland, Idols, Masterchef, etc.) but we also get the various English-language versions AS WELL. Needless to say I spend a lot of time not watching the box.

    1. Oh my goodness! You must be overwhelmed with it! We get American and Australian versions which can mean it just never lets up. Plus we have a million and one nasty weight loss and home renovation shows which tip the balance into the ridiculous. I've never minded if people want to watch them, I just need them to stop talking about it EVERYWHERE! :D

  3. Oh moy gawd!! Thank you! I have actually stopped watching tv on the tv, and watch catchup on my laptop for this reason! Sick of it!!!!

    1. I think I will have to start watching Top Gear and Phrynie Fisher on my laptop too!

  4. That's why the only TV channel I watch is ABC1 or ABC4Kids in the late afternoon before the news for the boys while I'm cooking dinner. I'm also 28 and I got sick of the brain-dead commercial channels years ago. :/

    1. Yep I'm definitely an ABC fan too!


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