Magic in the air...

There's a little extra sparkle to the world that is undefinable... hard to grasp... a glimpse out of the corner of my eye...

An extra twinkle of lights as I look over the valley from the top of the hill...

Tonight as we ride the rails with the "fellas" I can feel the glow - is it the world glowing, or me glowing at the world?

My eyes are very different to a year ago. They are wide open. Not so jaded. The tears they shed are sometimes happy - the hot, angry tears making way for the cool trickles as I feel my heart growing and loving and bursting with glow.

Everyone is smiling - not the polite smiles of old - the smiles that go all the way to the eyes.

WonderMan and I stood by our tree and hugged each other tight today as we realised what we have achieved, pushing aside the struggle and hurt and laying down our new foundations.

There's a little spark flitting around inside me. The kind that makes you do a little happy wiggle every now and then, just because.

I feel I could pluck the stars from the sky and spread their light around.

Here, have a star.

Merry Christmas xx

New Years Evemas and other mashed up holidays - Wine Selectors review

This year we are mixing things up a little.

Chucking the crazy Christmas rush and shunning the family in favour of a lot of relaxing and an open house.

Christmas dinner?

I'm guessing pizza while we play the Wii my kids could not even dream they  will be getting and arguing over the best Skylander.

We have decided to open up our house to our friends and family for the next couple of weeks so we can catch up without the stress, an escape from the eternal tug of war we all feel during this season.

Good food. Good friends. All we need now is some good wine.

Oh wait.

I'm done already.

Thanks to Wine Selectors my bar is nicely stocked up with a range of wines to suit any taste.

All except one.

WonderMan insisted we try one as soon as they arrived, just to "make sure".

He opened a Ballast Stone Rose. I've been a big fan of Ballast Stone ever since I visited their cellar door at Signal Point in Goolwa while on holiday last year.

It certainly didn't disappoint and was the highlight of my week. It was beautifully light, just the pink to enjoy on a hot summer's evening.

Still waiting in my bar are a couple of reds, a reisling, and of course the obligatory New Years Evemas bubbles.

All so easy to choose according to your favourite tastes, or the stretch of your wallet.

Delivered to your door. Now that's happy mail.

And I discovered something else.

The more you buy.... the cheaper they get! Seriously, Wine Selectors are talking my language.

They have even made it onto my list of places you could buy me a gift card from and I wouldn't hurt you with it for being lazy. It's a list of one.

Race over now and kick start your 2013 wine collection. Or you could post me a gift card. That's a good idea too.

And a Happy New Years Evemas to you xx

PS: Wine Selectors sent me a box of six wines, and asked me if I would like to tell you about them. And their PR was lovely, so I said yes. Just so you know.

Clothes are optional...

Frog doesn't see the necessity of clothes.

Pants especially.

A quick scroll through the camera roll on my phone yields very little in the way of photos where Frog is wearing anything more than knickers on her bottom.

Today is hot and muggy and when she got out of the bath clothes were obviously not part of her plan.

It's a good thing we have no tradesmen coming today, as we have all week.

So today, clothes are optional apparently.

Until school pick up time.

I don't think the big girl could cope with a car full of nudists picking her up.

And besides... there is not enough sunscreen in the world.

Breathe baby, breathe...

Frog officially has asthma. 

Really really scary asthma.

Last night I sat in a rocking armchair in the local hospital and sang "Puff the Magic Dragon" over and over because it was the only way we could keep Frog holding the nebuliser.

In between we sang Christmas carols and she insisted Granny do Incy Wincy spider several times.

I would have danced and sang and performed complicated gymnastics if it meant she was going to breathe.

When we arrived her oxygen sats were below 94... and three hours later we managed to get to 97 which meant we could go home and manage her with a ventolin puffer.

I've had two hours fractured sleep punctuated by a never ending cough that terrifies me because I'm still learning it all and I don't know if I'm doing it right, and if she's suddenly going to stop breathing again.

She has the shakes from the combination of redipred and constant ventolin.

Mum and I are still recovering from the flashbacks of the last time we were in a hospital with one of my babies at Christmas. And the dawning realisation that asthma is just as risky and scary and I don't know if I can do all this again. 

I'm holding on for WonderMan to get home so I can get the hug I so desperately need right now. 

Frog needs me to make it all better, but I need someone too.

In the meantime I'm just helping her breathe. Forcing myself to breathe.

And holding onto my baby as if the love can flow from my skin to hers and make her well.

I hope so.

Crying in my car...

I wake up every morning and turn on the radio. 

This morning's news landed like a sickening punch to my stomach as I absorbed the reporting of the murders of two young women in our states north.

My head was full of water as I watched my girls eating breakfast, rushing off to check the advent calendar, laughing as they got ready to go to school and daycare.

I got to hold my girls close and tell them I loved them as I dropped them off this morning.

I kissed their smiling cheeks and sent them on their way.

Driving home the tears flowed... there are two mothers not so far away with empty arms.

I hope they are surrounded by love and strength today. I hope that technicality does not overcome justice for them at the end. 

My words cannot change their lives. 

All I can do is hope for peace for them in time.

And cry in my car.

Is Father Christmas baby Jeebub's daddy?

The last concert is over for the year. 

Thank goodness.

It's enough that we have a childcare and a school concert - but Tiger is in the choir and therefor has attended every single concert and celebration in the town.

I happily said yes to all of these, because every bit of experience and time spent in our community is important. 

I just really need a rest.

And Frog keeps asking why the baby Jeebub is still a baby, and not growed up yet.

And also if Father Christmas is his daddy.

Which is very difficult to answer when you are threading button trees and supervising small people crafts.

There's just parties left in our diary now.

I think we've earned them. 

I'm just off to warn the baby sitter about baby Jeebub.