Wednesday, 21 September 2011

I'm okay... How about you?

In the aftermath of RUOK? Day, I'm only just starting to read all the other submissions to the Blogger Collective hosted by the lovely My_Big_Nutshell, which you can find here.

Why so long? Because it was so huge, and had so much coverage everywhere, I was completely overwhelmed with it all.

Because after giving you my story I have been feeling pretty raw, very exposed.

I needed time to get back to the simple things, to find my joy where it's always been, with my loving little family.

But I haven't been idle. And I haven't stopped asking the question.

I've taken time to appreciate the people around me, to let them know they mean so much to me, and to let them know it's okay to not be okay.

I have someone who does this for me. She didn't know that those times when she asked were like a lifeline, that when she let me say "Stuff is a bit shit right now" it made me feel so much better, and gave me the strength to go and face the shit stuff.

So I bought her flowers, to say thanks. And I know there are times when SHE is not okay, and I will be there to listen too.

This is what friends are for.

I've also spent some time "future proofing" our family. Making sure we will ALL be okay. Not just me, or WonderMan, all of us.

Tiger has been through so much in these short few years of her life. Even though things are settled now we are about to pack up and start our next journey, in a new place, with new people.

I know she is feeling anxious about WonderMan leaving. I understand why, but I don't know how to support her through this. Hell, I hardly know how I feel about it, let alone how I am going to cope.

I know that there are stresses on our family from so many directions. And that when you add them all up we should truly be a bunch of raving lunatics by now.

To help us make the best of our family, and the best of our future, I am booking us in for family counselling. Exactly how this will work I don't know yet, because we live in Hicksville, but I'm committed to doing what needs to be done to help us stay on the right track.

It will be a little while before we begin, but in the meantime we have several people helping to support us through the next few months.

After a meeting at Tiger's school today, she is being put top of the list for a mentoring program next term, which gives kids one on one time with teachers not in their class, and helps them to build relationships outside of their immediate peer group. It also gives a safe environment where kids can share when things might not be okay.

This is everything we have needed for so long. My beautiful girl has been battered by the tide and needs a helping hand. I wanted to be that helper, but I can't do it all, and I can't do it alone. Sometimes I don't know what she needs and that's when I have to ask for help.

I have a lot of things I need help with, so I have made sure I have someone to talk to. Someone outside of my little "world". Someone who can give me the tools to give this family a good future.

WonderMan is working hard to build a future for all of us, and he's not afraid to ask for help anymore. And we've been talking. Properly talking, and listening, and I feel like our relationship is the strongest it has ever been.

So we're going to be okay, we are all working very hard to make sure of that.

But we won't forget to check up with each other, to make sure.

We're going forward, no more circlework for us!


  1. Well done Natalie! This is a huge and courageous move and with that special support, you are on track for future-proofing. I so love that term. It really is true to that investment in yourself and your families happiness. People seem to baulk at the cost or the commitment but allocate family finances to other stuff like tv's, cars and computers, the investment in happiness and togetherness and sanity I believe is the best investment of the lot.

    I truly love this post. xx You can do it.

  2. I love that you are so real, thanks for sharing x

  3. @Gemma! Thanks :) I have been feeling that the point of RUOK? Day is not just to ask to question... but to follow up on the "Yes" "No" "Actually everything is one huge black hole" answers, and take the steps to make us "OK".

    Thankyou for your hard work, and letting me share my story xx

    @NIXNAX Thankyou xx


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