Monday, 28 November 2011

The One Where We Do The Right Thing... for a while...

Sit down my lovelies, and listen to the tale of WonderMan and I doing the right thing.... and the two hours of our lives we will never, EVER get back.

Several weeks ago Frog had an invitation in her daycare pigeonhole to a little girl's third birthday.

Now normally, in a place like Hicksville, I generally know who is who, but with no last name or indication other than a mobile number and an address in the nearby mini-hicksville I was completely in the dark.

Never mind, I was too busy being like "Wow! Frog got her first invite, way to go chicky!" She's only two and a half so this was pretty cool.

I texted our RSVP, and spent the next few weeks thinking about what we would give a three year old we didn't know (except for Frog of course... and went I asked her she went "Oh no, I not know!")

I carefully chose a fairy board game aged for 3+, wrapped it in beautiful paper, and managed to get Frog to sit down and draw a pretty picture for her friend in the card.

I had to work Saturday morning, but made sure I let the mother know we would be a little late and were definitely still coming.

I carefully considered and duly washed and ironed party clothes for Frog - a mix of pretty but practical because she's a playing in the sand kind of girl. 

For those of you who didn't know, WonderMan snuck in Friday night for a visit, so he was able to get her ready Saturday while I was at work.

He "put my hair up all pwetty mummy!" and made sure the kids were ready and waiting for me when I finished work.

We shot out the few kms down the road and rolled up to the party.

And then we lost two hours of our lives and I'm mourning them terribly.

First, I would have said the house was condemned - but someone had stuck up a happy birthday banner so apparently not.

WonderMan and I exchanged looks, but in an attempt not to judge, we hopped out with smiles on our faces and walked over. 

It took three attempts for anyone to speak to us and five more to find out who the birthday girl was.

Frog skipped over with gift in hand and said "Happy Birfday!" The girl turned her back on her and walked away. After three attempts a nearby mother (not the child's) took pity on poor Frog and tried to get her to stand still and accept her present. Four more tries and Frog finally got fed up and walked away, leaving her gift on the ground.

Mother of the girl was nowhere in sight and another child came over and tried to interest birthday girl in her gift. This second little one ended up opening our gift and excitedly "ooh-ing" and "aaaah-ing" over the contents, while the birthday girl scowled at everyone. I'm glad at least someone appreciated my effort!

When the mother and grandmother finally appeared, they didn't even bother to say "Hello" after we tried to be polite.

One glance at a nearby mother's tight face suggested we weren't the only ones a little spaced out by the whole scene.

Later, trying desperately to make conversation with someone I approached this mother and had a chat. She indicated between clenched teeth that she was certain she could invent a dying family member in the next five minutes if needed, and would I like to share.

The kids were awful, the food looked like a salmonella intensive breeding program and the house was disgusting.

Not the messy, I haven't had time to clean kind. Just yuk. Lazy, I'm too busy watching my hundred square inch plasma tv that may or may not be shoring up the living room wall, and hollering at my kids to bring me another beer kind of yuk.

Despite trying to hold on I finally cracked and had to ask to use the loo. Where I discovered that although they can afford ten thousand dollars of home entertainment, there was no roof in the bathroom. I was looking up at tin and talking to the birds.

When I came out WonderMan was giving me desperate eye signals....

He almost broke the land speed record answering his phone, I don't think it even got in half a tone before he was off on an important sounding conversation... which was, in fact, a wrong number.

In short it was terrible.

Despite trying out best, and reminding ourselves we were doing the right thing by trying not to be rude, we were desperate to get out of there.

We hung on for a little while because they had started painting the kids faces and Frog's face lit up at the sight.

She ended up as a beautiful butterfly, while Tiger got a purple dragon.

Happy girls

Their smiles made it almost worthwhile being there.

Almost, but not quite.

I very politely thanked our hosts for inviting us, and made my excuses about a family engagement we must get to.

After waving goodbye and being handed a party bag full of greasy lollies we piled into the car and as we drove off WonderMan gave me a strange look.

"So what's this family engagement we have to get to?" he asked.

"I have a date." I said, "with my brother Beer, starting in exactly ten minutes."

"I like your thinking...." he replied, "By the way, do we have any tea tree oil at home? I think we might want to give the kids hair a wash..."

Thursday, 24 November 2011

Thankful Thursday

I love Thankful Thursday!

It's like a big self-kick-in-the-butt making me stop whining and love the things that matter.
 Join up with Kate Says Stuff  You know you want to!

 Things to be thankful for this week include:

Being called for extra work days. 

WonderMan's bestie who is falling over himself to look after Frog on Saturday morning, and who I should have asked from the start, instead of freaking out about finding a babysitter.

Managing the budget juggle and still being able to afford a coffee after I fork out $180 for ballet costumes tonight.

Only having to pay $180 for 3 costumes each for me and Tiger, because oh lordy are some of the ballet schools I've looked at pretentious. And mortgage-your-children expensive! We are so damn lucky.

The baby niece being asleep and getting to open the shop by myself so I could tidy the desk and check mum's reconcilliation without anyone looking over my shoulder and frowning.

Being old enough to recognise when it's not a good idea to tell your mother if she did her paperwork a little less haphazardly she wouldn't struggle with it so much...

Still having my head because I kept my mouth shut.

Having a father who owns a small engines workshop so my lawn mower always runs perfectly. ALWAYS.

Having a lawn to mow which will make me skinny (well it will help).

Have a fabulous Thursday!

Wednesday, 23 November 2011

Relocation Update

Mostly what I have to report is a lot of nothing. 

WonderMan is working. I'm working. I'm trying to catch up on the mess that has descended from a weekend of flu plus work last week. 

I can tell you the people working in the real estates where we are going do not want any business. They are quite possibly content to sit at their desks filing their nails for the rest of their careers. Although they won't have a job much longer if they continue like that....

Out of five real estate agents contacted for rental applications one - yes ONE - has emailed me the forms, and it took her three days to do that. Because a job that takes all of five seconds couldn't possibly be done right away while I'm talking to you on the phone.

I've started sending my resume out. The problem with this move is the juggle of finding a job before we relocate, otherwise we are going to be looking at a bit of a financial black hole, and we just got out of one of those so I'm reluctant to jump back in.

The kids and I may have to stay here a bit longer, or alternatively move up and live in the converted shearer's quarters WonderMan is currently inhabiting. 

Based on the descriptions he has given me.... option B is not my first choice. 

I was starting to clear the house bit by bit for a garage sale, but as I said, I'm a bit behind and need a couple of clear days to catch up again and get back into the groove. I have so much stuff to get rid of. I'm aiming for the least amount of stuff to move as possible.

I have sent off Tiger's school enrollment for her new school. I doubt we will be able to fit in a visit before the end of the year, because ballet concerts and work take us right up until Christmas this year.

There is a lot of work to be done, but I'm sitting on my hands waiting for when we can set a date, pick a house, and load that truck.

Hopefully it's soon.

Monday, 21 November 2011

Meet Me On Monday - Nov 21st

It's been struggle-town here over the last couple of days. I'm booking in to see my former doctor in the city, to get a referral to a specialist who might be able to give us some answers about Tiger's behaviour. 

I'm not happy with the lack of support, and attitude of the school, counsellors, and doctors in this town and I'm glad that our move will bring us closer to the city and some help for my girl. 

It's hard feeling like my girl is missing. Like I'm staring at my girl but she's not mine anymore.

But I can't write it all right now, so I'm taking refuge in some simple things, and keeping the tangled mess of my thoughts aside until I can unravel it.

I'm joining in with another Meet Me On Monday with Never Growing Old.

So piece by piece you can learn a little more about me, and the face behind the page.

This weeks questions:

1.  I wish I had more time to _________?

Sew. I love to create beautiful pieces but at the moment the time needed to finish a project is more than I can give. 

2.  What is your favorite kind of soup?

Potato and leek with crusty bread for dipping.

3.  Where will you eat Thanksgiving dinner? 

We don't have Thanksgiving in Australia.

4.  What is your favorite time of day?

Morning tea time.

5.  Did you start Christmas shopping yet?

Yes. In fact I started a couple of months ago, just picking up things as I discovered them and storing them away. But I haven't written a list for the kids or decided when I will actually do the rest. Living in the country sucks, because I have to get all my shopping done at once or online.

Feel free to leave a comment with your answers.

I look forward to Meeting you, too!

Thursday, 17 November 2011

My Thighs Have Headed South for the Summer

It's spring - (or fall in the North) the season of migrations all over the globe. And not to be outdone, my thighs have decided to join in.

It's generally known that I'm not happy with my weight but, I'm one of those silly people that believes broken biscuits contain no calories, and if I stand up while drinking my mocha the fat can't pool in my buttocks.

But I've been working on it.

Dance has helped, a lot. I'm definitely fitter than I was back in March.

I lost the flow with my Zumba around the time I started TWO jobs at the same time, and I'm only just getting back into the groove. Sometimes somethings gotta give, and it will always be there when I get more organised.

Gone are the lollies I used to stash in my bedside drawer, and my diet tracker app on my snazzy iPhone is helping me keep a steady calorie intake and reminds me to drink more water and exercise regularly.

And tada! I have lost weight!

Which was a surprise to me, because I've been feeling heavier, and more "blobby" for the last few weeks.

I have noticed the loss of fat around my middle, which just means my muffin top is saggier because the skin hasn't tightened up yet (my fault... not an big ab crucnching fan!)

But I measured my thighs last night and they are fatter. 

Holy mother of bullshit! How did that happen?

Even my generous bingo wings have shrunk... but oh no... not MY DAMN THIGHS.

This is making me unbelievably stabby.

I look like a chicken on steroids. Flapping my wings and running around on my supersized drumsticks with piddly little stick legs underneath. Without even supersized breasts to keep my thighs company.

And what's worse is my dance concert is about three weeks away.... I am going to be on stage in tights.


 I am forced to assume that the fat from my arms and stomach has migrated, like the buffalo and the ducks.

Well it can just bloody well migrate somewhere else. FAST. 

Tuesday, 15 November 2011

Hey, It's Okay!

Another Tuesday, another linky with the delightful Whispering Writer 

 I like being okay about things, I like being cool, calm and collected, totally ZEN, ya know?

I'm hopeless at it. 

So I love Amber's Hey It's Okay linky, it reminds me to be chilled for, oh, at least ten minutes a week.

It's okay to......

.... like purple Powerade, which means I frequently can be found at ballet lessons sporting a stunning purple tongue. 

.... pretend this is the ONLY reason the ballet mummies look at me funny.

..... believe in the chance of winning the lottery as a way of keeping my sanity.

.... forget to write a letter to WonderMan all week.

.... count the days until our big move and frequently freak out over how little I have done vs the amount of time left to do it in.

.... be a little pissed that not one of my friends (other than one who is booked up) have offered to babysit Frog for a lousy 3 hours while I work one Saturday morning. Yet I would move heaven and earth to help them if they were stuck like this.

.... vow never to help out another person in this damn place ever again.

.... admit I like part numbers, and cataloging, even I am working for my parents for free. I'm good with numbers, and motorbike bits. Just don't ask me to actually BUILD one.

.... eat a punnet of strawberries for lunch. They're healthy right? And soooo yummy!
.... wish they were choc mint cake pops.

Mmmmmm..... cake pops.......

Meet Me on Monday

I'm running late, and taking advantage of the fact that I have not yet gone to sleep to declare it still Monday, (even though it probably isn't but I am Mummy, and I make the rules so "Hi Monday!")

I've been tapping away at this blog for a few months now, and as I settle into my routines, and find my way in the big wide world of the internets, I forget that even though I talk to you like I've known you forever, I actually don't, and you don't know a heck of a lot about me except that I'm pretty good at freaky emo rants and oversharing. And that the husband to be is a Procrastination King (yes, it does require both CAPITALS and an underscore).

Therefor, in the interests of developing my overshare reflex, and letting you in on who is really behind all this nonsense, I'm joining JAVA @ Never Growing Old for Meet Me On Monday*

*That is when I don't forget, or have a Major Monday Meltdown rendering me incapable of coherent thought until it's times for fruity beer on Hump Day.

This weeks questions and answers are below:

1.  Does your family/friends know about your blog?

Yes, but most pay no attention, or have no idea what I am talking about. When I mentioned I was going to a blog conference (DPCON12 YEAH!) my mother looked at me like I had mentioned having a limb amputated for fun. She thinks I'm nuts. I have a couple of friends who read, although most don't, and I don't push it because someday I might want to have a good old freaky rant about one of them and then i would have to be all PC, tactful and delicate, which is not my for-tay.
2.  What is your favorite card game?

Pennies from Heaven - which is a much more interesting and fun version of Canasta and I'm dying to make some new friends who will appreciate the joy of a night around the card table, full of wine and laughter. I played many hours of Pennies from Heaven with my FIL before he died and they remain some of the best hours of my life. I would love someone to teach me Bridge but I really live in the wrong century for that to be likely.
3.  What do you wear to bed? 

PJ's in winter, knickers and singlet in summer. I never used to wear anything, but part time cosleeping with Frog changed that. Also WonderMan always seems to be 5 degrees hotter than me so I don't need much as it is like having a personal in bed heater. I sometimes wear socks when he complains about me warming my poor frozen feet on his buttocks.
4.  What is your favorite kind of French Fry?

What eez thees French Fry? Oh you mean CHIPS. I like them thick and golden, we call them steak chips. But they have to be piping hot, and cooked to perfection - golden and crisp on the outside, light and fluffy on the inside. I am a chip nazi.
5.  What is your usual bed time?

I try to be in bed by 10pm, but am rarely asleep before midnight unless I am trying to fend off advances of the "wandering hands" variety. I generally fall asleep with a book in my hand, which has been known (on regular occasions) to slip and hit me in the face. WonderMan quite often wakes up at 1am, removes the book from my hands and tips me over onto my side because I am dead asleep sitting up.

So there you have it. 5 more things you probably didn't know, or didn't need to at any rate!

I'd love to Meet You on Monday too! Join the linky below

Friday, 11 November 2011

For Fuck's Sake Friday!

Hellooooooo Friday!

It's been a freaking long week.... so here's a big internets *wave* to Dear Baby G who caught my eye with her first ever FFS Friday, and has allowed us to join in once we bribed her with the promise of sharing a bar space in March. 

There is never a shortage of things that cause me to  scream like a banshee mutter "FFS..."

Some random ones this week include:

WonderMan came home for the weekend AFTER I had mowed all the lawns. FFS.

He also brought TWO bags of washing with him. FFS.

He bugged me about that washing for two days when I had my own washing to do. FFS.

After he left I found all his weekend clothes in the laundry basket. He will no doubt ring me in a week wanting his shorts and stuff so he can play cricket or GO TO THE PUB because it's raining or something. FFS.

I had to go to dance practice on Sunday, and he promised to get up early so I wouldn't miss pancake breakfast. He didn't. FFS.

Frog ate all my Subway macadamia cookies that I brought back after dance, and I had to eat raspberry. FFS. 

The World Championship Speedway Sidecar titles are on this weekend... and I am broke as usual. FFS.

    After many weeks of feeling like I'm about to come down with a cold, I felt better yesterday and today I KNOW I have a cold. FFS.

After spending the last couple of years battling against the financial tide, and managing to come out the other side on a good footing.... TELSTRA handed on a bill I have been paying off regularly, with no reminder notice and no warning, to the debt collectors and officially fucked my credit rating, just as we are starting to get somewhere. BASTARDS. FFS.

 I have been booked up for work only on the days I have no childcare for Frog. FFS!

Dear Baby G 

Go on, link up, let it out, it's cheaper than MOFO therapy!

Thursday, 10 November 2011

Thankful for..... Dance

I've struggled since the weekend to find my bloggy love... the passion I have been in the process of rebuilding just seemed to have disappeared overnight. When I tried to write, or budget, or sew, my brain was complete mush.

Part of it is to do with WonderMan's visit, because wonderful as it was to have him home, it was over all too quickly and this time we knew the break is going to be longer, and sort of indefinite as it is officially harvest next week, and he and his truck will be having the kind of close relationship I can only dream of.

Today my passion returned... in full force... demanding I get home and write about my favourite thing in the world....

Tonight I'm thankful that I can dance.

Every week I turn up to the local RSL hall, and spend hours teaching and dancing.

I have danced, at the same hall, with the same teacher, since I was six. I finished after Tiger did her first concert, and after trying to convince myself I had given it up I finally went back this year, and reclaimed the love of my life.

Through all the ups and downs that life has brought me... there has always been the escape to dance classes, and the happiness it brings. 

When life is pushing me down, one night of dancing can push it all to the side, and help me get through, to stand strong against the world.

I love the feeling of making my body do incredible things. I can feel the music from my pointed toes to the tips of my fingers, and when it flows through me I could conquer the world. 

On my sixth birthday I was woken in the early hours of the morning, my mother pressed a parcel to my chest, kissed me on the head, and told me "I love you, I'm sorry, but your uncle is in the hospital, I have to go."

He had been involved in a head on collision between his and another truck, and was fighting for his life after almost burning to death on the side of the road.

I struggled so hard to comprehend what was happening, and I wanted my birthday to go away and never come back again.

And then I opened that parcel; inside were my first ballet shoes, and a ticket from my mother promising dance lessons from that day onward. 

My joy was overwhelming, my grief crushing. The happiest and most heartbreaking moments of my life happened that morning, while my father held me close and let me cry until I couldn't cry any more.

I will never forget that moment.

Nor will I forget my years spent in that hall, with my teachers voice ringing in my ears, and the beat running through my veins.

I have danced in seventeen concerts, and will dance in my eighteenth and final concert this December.

As we prepare to start our new life, I am saddened that our time with Mrs D has come to an end. She has been like a second mother, watching out for me, loving me, caring for me and teaching me for so many many years.

I don't know what life will be like without her, and without dance.

I struggle to even imagine it.

There are dance classes where we are going, just started this year. I am thankful that my girls, and maybe I, will be able to continue to dance and live life with joy in our hearts. 

But there will always be this tiny piece of wrongness - the feeling that Mrs D should be there, spurring me on to be better, stronger, faster.

Even so I know I will live with dance in my heart, never letting go of my love, holding onto one of the most pure joys life can offer.

And for now, I will dance like everyone is watching, for it is the most blissful feeling I know.

Linking with Kate Says Stuff for Thankful Thursday

Saturday, 5 November 2011

We Interrupt Your Usual Programming...

.... To bring you a very important message....

He's home for the weekend. 

And he's even shaved the dead hedgehog off his face just for me.

So If you will excuse me, I have better things to do... see you all Monday...

Tuesday, 1 November 2011

Hey It's Okay!

It's another round of Hey It's OK! Tuesday over here:


and I Blog On Tuesdays over at Diary of a SAHM:

Today it's OK to...

...want a wardrobe like Kim Kardashian's and bugger the husband!

...wish some of my excess thighs would trickle down and even out my legs.... or at least lengthen them a little while I sleep. pissed off at WonderMan for not sitting down and having the "So how much am I going to get paid?" talk with his new boss. Because I just discovered it's less than the last one, with no days off and no perks. 

...lock the doors, turn off the lights and go to bed with my laptop to avoid random packs of half drunk teenagers trick or treating. Last year some little punk threatened me after I said I didn't participate. Not cool.

...have a packet of licorice bullets hidden in my bedside drawer. 

...want to hot wire some little punked up hoons stereos so when they play doof doof music their seats zap their arse.

...want Frog to stop screaming at EVERYTHING. disappointed I haven't managed to collect the whole Discworld series before Snuff was released. Economic factors (ie being broke) beat me in the end.

...not get everything done, because I know that it is me who hasn't done it. I cannot stand delegating or sharing jobs with others who don't get them done on time or properly. This is why living with the Procrastination King drives me wild!

...sing along with my stereo very loudly and very badly.