Saturday, 30 June 2012

FFS Friday - The Edited Edition

Oh my darlings... I had so much to tell you but I'll just pick the worst so you aren't all here until next week...

One, two, three, whiiiiiiiine....

 I am writing this from Frog's bed, as she has taken over mine. FFS.

It's warmer in here but it stinks like Vicks from the vaporiser thingo, at least I won't get a cough. FFS.

 She's been sick ALL. DAMN. WEEK. FFS.

I may have got my eight hours in... over five days. FFS.

After a mammoth effort at keeping the crazy at bay while she coughed and coughed and coughed and coughed... she started to get better and now the hacking phlegmy cough has begun. FFS.

In my ear, all night and day. FFS.

I worked a full week last week, and despite WonderMan's dubious promises to "help me when I worked full time again" (arrogantlazychauvanisticfuckingbastard) he's done fuck all of nothing. And less than usual to boot. FFS.

During this week of misery and sleeplessness he has managed to lower that total yet again. FFS.

Every time I turn around he is "going to bed because I'm soooo tired." FFS.

On Monday, with full knowledge that I had a meeting to go to after dinner, he parked his car NEXT TO the shed. Not in the shed or in the carport. Next to the shed in the exact spot I reverse Every. Single. Day. So guess who reversed into it in the pitch black on the way to her meeting? FFS.

 I can't go walking while Frog is sick so I feel fat and lazy to go with the sleep withdrawals and batshit craziness. FFS.

Tiger is still trying to pull a fast one when it comes to the basic everyday grooming tasks. She smooths the top of her hair and puts it in a ponytail and thinks I'm fooled. Today I cut an inch long dredlock out of her hair. FFS.

This afternoon she informs me that she can't wait to go to SuperGranny's house because it's her favourite place in the whole world, and she never wants to come home. Way to kick your mum in the guts kid. FFS.

Every day she walks out of school with a boy. Apparently he's just a boy. I need a shotgun. FFS.

WonderMan came down with a toothache yesterday, and made my life miserable all night, to top off a week of no sleep with sick Frog. She slept really well. FFS.

Despite my firm advice he swallowed an entire pack of Nurofen, then added two codeine for good measure... needless to say he was poisoned and sick to go with the miserable. FFS.

I had to fork over every cent of my hard earned overtime (with which I was going to do some well deserved shopping) to get the stupid tooth taken out. FFS.

And that's after waiting around with a cranky three year old in the car because we arrived exactly ten minutes early for his appointment and the dentist had a sign on the door proclaiming "Back at 1:20". Which was a good 15 minutes after the time the receptionist had INSISTED we be there. FFS.

 I just wish my stupid fucking husband would acknowledge how exhausted and over stressed I am but instead he moans that he hasn't got enough money to do the things he wants because *I* dont work enough. FFS.

I don't have time for a nervous breakdown but surely it's my turn now right? FFS.


Pass the wine bottle please.

And when you're done, pass it on to Dear Baby G, she needs it too. 


Dear Baby G

Tuesday, 26 June 2012

Freebird or jailbird?

{DISCLOSURE} This post is not sponsored. I pay for the service we use. We are currently on a journey to  live the life we want to live - My Budget are a huge part of this,  so I will be speaking about them as part of our story. The questions I ask and the things I discuss in this blog are my thoughts and feelings only.

When you think of your finances how do you feel?

Light... happy... at ease?

Or dark... despairing... chained down... anxious?

Are you a financial freebird... or a jailbird?

What does financial freedom mean to you?

One of the biggest things in my life and the shaping of how I feel about the everyday is the desire to be financially free.

I grew up with self employed parents who struggled and worked forever and a day with nothing to show for it.

I knew very early on in life that we couldn't afford much. I went without what everyone around me took for granted. And I knew if I wanted anything in life - a car, new clothes, petrol for my motorcycle - I had to work for it, and work hard.

At 15 I woke up to the blindly obvious fact that nothing short of a miracle was going to be able to pay for me to go to college or university after Year 12. It was a big thing for me to suddenly realise my dreams were never going to be anything but dreams. It was my undoing, and one of the biggest reasons I stepped away from school and started working before I had completed my leaving certificate. I really felt that every minute I spent striving and learning was going to be rewarded with nothing at the end. It was a hard lesson in how much money (or lack of it) can affect your life.

Since then I have never really felt free. I've always been a slave to the dollar - judging my worth by my pay packet and not what I do and give to others.

I've defined myself as a jailbird, and lived with chains around my ankles, always believing that what I wanted was out of my reach.

We started our journey with My Budget in March this year.

It was a long hard road up until the day I picked up the phone. I believed only a miracle could cure us of the debt and depression and being "poor". 

With two conflicting ideas of "budgeting" and a tendency to self sabotage our own efforts, we were never going to take that step towards freedom without help.

Three months in how do we feel?

Not free yet. That's going to take a while.

But definitely in control, which is the first step.

If a bill drops into my mailbox you will no longer find me sobbing in my driveway.

Progress... little baby steps. 

The end goal is financial freedom.

What does it mean for me?

It means the end of the never ending juggle. 

It means the incomings exceeding the outgoings. 

It means knowing that I can give my children what I so dearly wanted - opportunity.

It means having enough to enjoy life without excess. I don't need a holiday house in the Hamptons, but I want the freedom to say "let's go somewhere and explore this weekend" without it being a major logistical and budgeting nightmare.

But by far the biggest measure of financial freedom for me will be never ever having to ring up that damned Centrelink switchboard! I live for the day we are able to live without jumping through hoops.

In the meantime we are able to let the finances happen, and focus on being the best we can be, and living the life we want to live as a family.

With every beat of our wings, and every step on the journey we are shaking off the chains and turning our faces towards the wide open sky.

That's worth more than gold to me. 


Monday, 25 June 2012

Hold Music

"Your regular blogger is currently unavailable... Please continue to hold and she will be with you shortly..."

Frog is currently wailing her sick, miserable, way through the night and shouting at me if I try to comfort her.

WonderMan is in bed because he is "so exhausted".

Both these things have combined with the anxiety and insomnia and are making me officially stone cold batshit crazy.

My teapot may spontaneously combust if we have many more nights like this.


"Your current blogger is currently unavailable... Please continue to hold and she will be with you shortly..."


Monday, 18 June 2012

Oh my stars where have I been?

Nowhere! That's where!

Just being my usual sporadic self.

Take three days of work that turns into four or five in a week...

Add a kiddy winter bug or two...

Splash some rain on my washing...

Mix in some minor midnight injuries...

And tack a weekend onto the end...

You get - zippo blogging, and mucho everything else.

Never mind.

 Tomorrow will come.

And WonderMan has a man cold... so I will be spending every minute at home hiding in the internets to drown out his moaning. 

If anything could drive a woman to drink it's powering through a massive week with my own man cold while listening to the sounds of a "dying" husband.

In the meantime...

I only use Facebook for good stuff - like this.

Tuesday, 12 June 2012

Who the hell am I?

I am the light at the end of the tunnel...

I am the darkening sky that heralds the storm...

I am a flitting butterfly, just a glimpse as I rest for a moment before moving on...

I am the step after the one I've just taken...

I am the flickering flame...

I am the book I dropped from my bed, just out of my reach...

I am the changing sands of the desert...

I am like water, I can see me, but I cannot hold me...

I am a ray of sunshine just beyond my fingertips...

I am the end of the rainbow, forever moving on...

I am immersed in the boiling, hissing roar of time past...

I am reaching out toward the time to come...

I am emerging from my chrysalis...

I am within my grasp, if I can just keep going...

I am the soft voice that speaks of love...

I am who I have created from the nothingness of despair and heartbreak...

I am what I see when I open my eyes, 
and then open them again...

Edenland's Fresh Horses Brigade

Saturday, 9 June 2012

Gettin My Craft On ~ My First Tutorial

We are starting to turn our rented house into a home.

Bits and pieces are coming together, and my wishlist is getting longer and longer.

One of the hardest things about decorating a rented home is what to put on the walls.

In our house there are acres of stark, white walls and even though we have made a start, the girls rooms looked so bare.

Time is short, and our pockets shorter so the delightful handmade fabric bunting I have on the plan is a little while away. Putting my recycling skills to work I soon found the perfect items to make my girls some quick and quirky bunting.

TUTORIAL ~ Birthday Card Bunting

You need:

Birthday cards ~ I used the girls' latest cards, you could colour co-ordinate if you like, I liked the idea of the special memories each card brings.

Hole punch

Sticky tape

Curling ribbon/wool/string/fishing line/ribbon ~ I used curling ribbon because it's what's we had in the cupboard.

Wall hooks ~  We use the 3M hooks that can be removed without marking.

Getting started:

Sticky tape your cards closed so they lay flat and don't push out from the walls when you hang them

 Punch a hole in the top corners of each card

Lay out your cards and decide on which order you want to string them, play with them until you like the result.

Start threading your ribbon through the loops of your cards.

Tie a loop in one end of your ribbon, hang from one of your hooks and measure the right length for it to hang just how you like. Cut the ribbon to length and tie a loop in the end. Hang from your second hook and adjust the cards as you wish.


We had to rehang this one, WonderMan doesn't quite understand the aesthetics of a curve...
  There you have it, beautiful bunting in half an hour.

We had to buy hooks which cost us around $6. So it wasn't expensive, or time consuming, and it means something special to the girls.

 And the best part was finding a way of displaying these keepsakes, instead of stashing them away in the cupboard with some vague notion that I would do something with them one day!

What do you do with your kids' birthday cards? 

Thursday, 7 June 2012

Oh... did you miss me?

I haven't been here much.

Nothing's wrong.

No crises.

No slump into the dark side.

Just... not quite here...

I could spin you a line about life being busy, giving more to my kids, my husband, myself...

It would be bullshit.

So basically... this is it...

I'm tired.

I'm a little uninspired by the everyday.

My brain has great ideas at 3am, but is slightly mushy during the day.

A bit like a radio station that is just slightly off it's tuning mark.

I'm just quietly retuning myself.

Breathing the fresh air and turning my face to the sun.

I'll be back soon


Friday, 1 June 2012

FFS Friday - The Pillow Fort and Smarties Edition

It's time to whiiiiiiiiiiiine bitches!

I have so much whine you're going to get it in two parts, as I must work in between. 

While you wait for this afternoon's installment... visit Dear Baby G, Parental Parody and all the Friday crew and shower them with well deserved love (although they would probably rather you showered them in wine... what evs...)

Dear Baby G

Everything has gone wrong this week. FFS.

If it hasn't gone wrong all you have to do is wait, because it will go wrong. FFS.

I've had end of day problems every day I've been at work this week. And no reason for them. I have been a recording and perfectionist nazi so how have things gone wrong? FFS.

My customers have been extra stupid. And cranky. And stupidly cranky. FFS

Thankyou to the cousin of the year for sharing this on FB last night - it made my entire week
It's not over yet. I am going to our second site to hide in the corner with some smarties, but no doubt something will go wrong even if I stay in my fort and don't touch anything or breathe. FFS.

I still have the worst freaking sinus thing going on which means I have been hyped up on Sudafed all week because it's the only thing that kills the brain melting pain in my face. FFS.

I hate cold and flu tablets but I hate this cold more. It needs to FOAD. FFS.

WonderMan has killed Frog's bedtime routine. FFS.

When I got home from a meeting at 9pm Monday she was still up, and so hysterically overtired she couldn't string together two coherent words. FFS.

It took and hour of howling to get her to sleep. It's taken an hour every night since. And she gets up every two hours, just as I am getting back to sleep. FFS.

I asked WonderMan to put her to bed last night and he sat on his chair in front of the tv until 8:30 and I had to endure another hour of Frog screaming. FFS.

He doesn't understand why I want to stab him. FFS.

Or maybe he does and that's why he hasn't sharpened my kitchen knives... FFS.

Fear not! I shall return this evening with a BIG glass of wine and a whine!

Have a fabulous Friday!! 

It's almost Saturday so I better get on with it...

 Today was the longest day in the history of forever. I had, at best count, about seven customers. In 7 hours. FFS.

I finally found something to occupy myself and the label maker ran out of tape. FFS.

 I didn't even get to labelling fun stuff like the pens or phones. FFS.

I was seriously looking forward to getting home and having a big glass of wine but I'm now in bed and I haven't even opened the bottle. FFS.

Because just as I was heading home after picking up the girls WM texted to pick him up from work, and when we arrived decided we should meet the crew. FFS.

Which turned into two and a half hours of standing in a freezing cold shed, with a patio heater frying the top of my head, while my high heel encased toes froze off. FFS.

The kids needed to go home at 7pm, and loudly protested daddy's continual attempts to put them off. For an hour and a half. FFS.

Did I mention I haven't got my wine yet? FFS.

It's fucking freezing. We have no wood. Therefor to keep the ice off my eyeballs I am running the ducting, which is definitely melting the icecaps and any chance I will be able to pay my next electricity bill. FFS.

WM keeps promising to go get some wood until I actually ask him to do it, when he becomes instantly deaf. FFS.

My budget says I can afford to buy a load of wood after the next summer solstice. FFS.

WonderMan is snoring the snores of the happily drunk and I have still NOT HAD ANY WINE. FFS.

      I didn't make it to the supermarket so I don't have any chocolate either and I'm cross.

That's it! My first world problems have had their airing and I can get on with finding a way to de-ice my eyebrows.

See you next week whiners!