Friday 28 October 2011

Oh For Fucks Sake Friday!

Today is complete and utter shit.

So FFS Friday has definitely arrived RIGHT ON TIME!

You can linky your post by clicking on the cranky baby below, and visiting the awesome Dear Baby G



Dear Baby G

That baby looks like I feel.

And now I hear you asking, what has given me the shits this week?

This week has mostly gone okay but I seem to have come to the end of my housewifely, reverse-nesting type stint since WonderMan left on Monday, and now I don't want to do it, I don't care and I wish it would just all go away. FFS.

I have three months of this feeling to go. FFS.

This weekend is the only chance we have to travel the six hours one way to see him before he goes right over west for harvest and due to pay not happening as normal, I have $20 with which to buy food and nappies for three days. This is not going to end well. FFS.

Someone told me "there's always next week" and I felt like smacking them in the face because there isn't next week actually because I have extra dance practice on the Sunday and fitting in twelve hours of driving with two fighting kids between 9pm Thursday and 8am Sunday does not for a sane person make. FFS.

Plus I really needed some time where the kids annoyed someone else for 24 hours, not a weekend of trying to make dinner out of a box of Jatz. FFS.

I have been trying to sell my car for seven weeks now and I have had enough. I am asking below red book price because it doesn't owe me anything, and I have had to put up with so much bullshit the next tyre kicker may find his head shoved fair up his own arse! FFS.

I wasted three weeks on someone who didn't bid on my car on eBay, then wanted it desperately, and then bought a different one after wasting DAYS asking me if every nut and bolt was entirely complete, and the same questions multiple times, and had the gall to tell me I didn't get back to him quickly enough. He got a rather pointed email where I just managed to stay on the side of outraged but not abusive. Just. FFS.

It's been a whole week, and even those "friends" who knew exactly when WonderMan was leaving have not once called, messaged, or dropped in to see me. I am completely and utterly alone and nobody gives a shit. FFS.

These are the same people who tell me "But why? We are going to miss you! But you have so many good friends here!" when told we are leaving. 
HYPOCRITICAL SMALL TOWN ARSEHOLES IS WHY!! FFS.

I spent Wednesday over at my mother's house vacuuming and looking after the baby because I feel sorry for her and I know full well she can't do everything. Even when I am doing just as much as her and with two children, and I've been doing it for a damn sight longer and with a lot less support than she has right now, and she's actually supposed to be helping me. Huh. FFS.

This morning Tiger and Frog screamed at each other non stop. Even seeking each other out to make fights to scream about. And after Frog scaled Tiger's bookshelf for the third time I lost it and screamed too. FFS.

When I went to mum's to have a sob she told me how hard her life is. So I felt bad and didn't tell her all of it. And then when I drove away I thought - Hang on, you have to look after a baby that is in daycare more than my toddler, who is happy and sleeps perfectly, and YOU have it tough? Then I shut myself in my bedroom and cried for the rest of the morning. FFS.

Now I feel like a crappy mother, a whiner, and a sook. And I really don't want to be stuck in this house all weekend with the climbing monster from hell. FFS.

Oh and finally, it is against the law for me to king hit my sister apparently.
FFS.

I am off to cadge $20 off my dad for nappies and some cheapo wine.

And, just maybe, I will be able to keep it together until Monday.

I hope so.

3 comments:

  1. awww :( that is just too much for one person to cope with on their own. 3 months is an awful long time! I had 3 days of solo parenting this week and lost the plot. Lots of hugs xx

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  2. I was doing really well for a while but today just sucked!

    Thanks for your sweetness :) I feel one hundred times better now!

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  3. Man, I don't blame you for having a rant. Hope it's made you feel a little better and that things start looking better in the near future

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