S.T.F.U.

No really.

Shut up already.

Just. Shut. The. Fuck. Up.

One more mind numbing, brain melting "if this is reality I'm ready to excuse myself from the human race now" program and the TV gets it.

How much drivel can you ingest before those pretty grey cells start dissolving faster than if I poured acid in your ears?

At night I can't sleep for the sound of a billion brain cells crying out for an escape, a respite from the smothering blanket fog of inanity.

When I do watch TV I mostly shout at it. A lot.

It's eerily similar to the scenes enacted every time I go through town and get cut off AGAIN by another knob-jockey with his brain removed who can't negotiate a simple roundabout.

I digress.

There are a lot of programs on television, which although not to my taste, I don't mind and make for good sport if you turn the sound down and make up the words after a few glasses of wine.

Harmless entertainment.

I have no idea what this new wave of mind slag is supposed to be but it is not entertaining. It is like a jackhammer to the sensitivities of anyone who dares to think outside the box. Who *gasp* have original opinions. Who THINK.

It's just hour after hour of drivel and people screaming "Oh. moy. gaaawd!"

Please tell me none of them are allowed to breed.

And before you tell me "If you don't like it don't watch it", I beat you.

I don't. 

Never have.

But you all won't S.T.F.U. about it.

It's on the news (the NEWS!)

It's on the radio every time I get in my car and I throw up a little in my mouth while waiting the one and a half seconds it takes to retune to 891 Adelaide.

It's endlessly debated, turned over and discussed to death on Facebook.

It's. In. My. Twitter.

Waves and waves of detritus seeping into every little bit of the world and I'm drowning.

I can't "mute" the hashtags fast enough.

In a flurry of childish rage I plot my revenge by tweeting throughout the entire Top Gear program every week. 

It makes me feel slightly less aggravated and hopefully aggravates someone else. A lot.

And then this happens and I know there is NO GOD.

So it's time now for me to return to my default setting, lest I burst a blood vessel.

I am the oldest, grumpiest 28 year old I know.

I need a sharp stick and a blue rinse.