Did you have a good day at work?

Well... no actually.

Because today I didn't go to work. 

I put my child in daycare and spent the day doing things without a 3 and 1/2 year old tornado following along behind.

A mental health day, if you will.

I used to be against taking these days. 

While I understand the need for everyone to have respite of some kind, in Hicksville I used to be the mother that was sitting in the carpark crying because she had fought and fought and fought to get her child a permanent place and couldn't, thus endangering her much needed job. 

All while a train of unemployed, lazy mothers paraded in and out of the centre more than twice a week dumping their entire brood to be cared for by someone else whilst they got together and drank endless tons of coffee and smoked never ending cigarettes. 

Legitimate respite for whatever reason - no family support, children with special needs, children at risk, etc - I understand and support this.

And I finally found that I needed it too.

After months of never being away from Frog other than to go to work or to a meeting, of never once peeing without a full cabaret show, of putting off all the paperwork and errands because after the third shop or office she is unmanagable (lets face it, it's not much fun being dragged around from bank to post office to shops where you can't touch anything); I'd had enough.

When we moved here I booked Frog into two permanent days of daycare a week, so that when I was called in on other days I was more likely to get a casual spot. It kept me at the top of the waiting list. When I was given my monthly relief roster I would move and re book days that were outside of those permanents, leaving them free for someone else on the list.

After much pushing from WonderMan I have started keeping one of those days a week even if I'm not working, because I was starting to sag at the knees. My mind was turning to complete slush and I was slowly spiralling downwards and could feel the clouds pulling over.

My family are 600kms away. Gone are the days of "taking the kids to Granny's" occasionally. 

This works for me.

It takes a village to raise a child. They are a part of my village.

Who is in your village? 

Linked up with Jess at Diary of a SAHM for IBOT

Taking brave steps forward...

I'm a volunteer at heart. Sometimes I cannot justify the time, or effort required, whether it be because of work, family, or just plain exhaustion.

I give time when I can, I make an effort to be involved, to spread my skills, my smiles, my efforts across my community.

Volunteering has given me some of the best experiences of my life - I've been an assistant dance teacher, a local radio announcer, umpired hockey. I am a joint convener with my mother, taking care of the cookery at her local country show.

I never expected it to be any different when we moved here, and I spent a good amount of time deciding where I would start. 

I wanted to be involved in something that I was passionate about, that gave scope for a range of activities, that allowed me to use the talents and skills I already possess, and build my networks as we settle into the area.

It didn't take long for me to decide where I wanted to give. 


The biggest decision of my life as a mother has been sending my kids to daycare so I could go back to work. 


I love being mum. I love the days with my children laughing and "helping", I love listening to them play quietly when they think I'm not paying attention, I love the cuddles and being there when they need comfort. But I am not naturally good at being at home by myself, and I struggle with the monotony and the feelings of being cut off from the world. 


My balance is part time home mum, part time working mum, and it makes me a better mother, wife and person in the end.


But for me to find my balance I have to give my children over to others sometimes.


I've always believed that it takes a village to raise a child. But family units are getting smaller, urban sprawl means we don't often know our neighbours,  and many of those I am entrusting the care of my precious girls to are acquaintances at best, strangers for the most part.

It's daunting to walk in the door and cuddle my little girl goodbye, all the time with that voice that sometimes says "Are you sure she's going to be ok?" "What if.....?"

I wanted to know what I could do the be more involved in her care. So I trundled off to the Centre's AGM last night, with a vague notion that I was sure I could find somewhere to be involved.

Nominations came open and I studiously avoided the round of chairperson, secretary, finance... finally putting my tentative and shaking hand up for the role of Parent Voice representative. 

A quick idea of this role is to attend district wide events hosted by each centre and share ideas, concerns and knowledge, to give a voice to the parents and take on their ideas on how to make the centre fantastic for the families who use it's services.


I'm really excited about the opportunity this gives me to be as involved as I can in the way my child is cared for when I am at work. As a parent I have often felt very detached from daycare, with a limited flow of information about her days there. Sure I know she went to the toilet, and ate chicken salad for lunch, but I want to know how she's learning, how she is comforted, what the staff do to support the way we choose to bring up our children.

 This is how I'm giving back, and at the same time I know my children are being cared for the best way they can, because I am helping to shape it.


Are you a volunteer? Why were you motivated to give of yourself?

This post is linked up with Diary of a SAHM for IBOT.