Saturday, 27 August 2011

This is why I love you

(Beware, I may be a little rambly, because I've drunk a bottle of Rose and I'm posting from my oh so warm and comfy bed where my brain does not function so well.)

Thanks to the lovely ladies at magnetoboldtoo, maidinaustralia, nobashake, I've been inspired to write this post - a post about acceptance.

We had a discussion about helping out at school and elsewhere, and why we hate it.

Simultaneously discussing whether we shared our blogs with our family and friends and why.

There was an overwhelming theme running through these tweets, and that was the lack of acceptance from the people around us.

I found myself with much company when I said I didn't share my blog with my family because they don't really get the whole concept, and would probably spend a lot of time lecturing me about what I had to say.

I really do feel like I can't talk to them about what I do, because it is so alien to them they can't understand or accept it. They just give me strange looks like I should be seeing an analyst.

And it's not just my family. Sitting down to dinner at a work training night a couple of weeks ago I actually had to explain what a blog was to my colleagues sitting around the table. After 30 seconds even my non nerdy self had managed to make their eyes glaze over and could read the "just keep nodding and maybe the crazy lady will leave" signs a mile away.

Am I so alone in this?

Well apparently not, because it seems most of the lovely and talented bloggers I meet are treated to the incredulous looks and "what the hell?" comments that I keep coming up against.

I don't just get this because I blog. I get it when I want to wear a dress. In summer. To go to the shops and buy milk. In Hicksville if you dress nicely you are stared at so hard you start to wonder if you have grown a second head.

My mum and I like to laugh - serious people get wrinkles. But when we go out together and we have a laugh at a joke, or tease each other just because we can, we get the same "two-heads" reaction with a dash of lemon lips thrown in for good measure. It seems the whole world has been taken over by a race of tight lipped, PC bitches with an overactive serious gene.

The bottom line is, we are not accepted for who we are. Which is a shame, because, just quietly, I can tell you I'm pretty freaking awesome. And so are the other bloggers I have met. Funny, smart, caring and beautiful.

I don't have to keep up appearances for my bloggy/twitter friends. If I put my underwear on backwards they laugh with me about my lack of dressing skills. My family would be horrified, and the rest of the town would just laugh AT me.

When times are tough, I want to know that I can lean on those around me, but I find myself retreating more and more into my internet life as I search for someone who will listen, who will offer a word of comfort, or some advice to get me through. If someone asks me how I am in the supermarket and I tell them I'm not doing so good, they start sidling away as if I'm nuts. I would rather hear the truth instead of "Hihowareyouimfinethanks" a hundred times. Because if I care enough about you to ask how you are, I'm going to care enough to help you if things aren't so great. But the real people I meet don't seem to give a rats.

This is also why I don't like anything run by mummies.

If you are looking for a good dose of bitchy, with a side dish of lack of acceptance, volunteer at your local school. Or football club.

I have never, ever spent a day in my kid's school canteen, and I never will. Because I know what goes on in there and I'm just not interested. Despite trying my hardest to be involved in my community I have been kicked in the guts enough times to know it's better to live through the fleeting moment of guilt, rather than the hours of mummy bitch torture involved. I'm a bullying survivor, and I see no reason to relive that by putting myself in a cramped kitchen for 5 hours with the very same people who bullied me in high school.

Instead, I go to my local cafe, drink mochas and tweet about how I'm not doing stupid canteen duty. And send twitter tissues to those who have just got home from tuckshop and are vowing to move to Canada before they ever do it again.

I think a lot of this unaccepting attitude comes from the loss of community in it's true form. No one takes time to know the people around them, to care about them, to share their lives. No one listens any more.

We are all so busy keeping up with the thousand demands of everyday that we just don't give to others anymore.

This is why I feel so much more loved and valued in my online life. It's a community. We share, we laugh, we cry, we send good thoughts and wishes, we virtual hug, we CARE for each other.

And we don't mind if you are in your panda pjs, because we are most probably in ours too.


  1. Well said. I actually just wrote a similar post but yours sound much better. I'm sending virtual hugs, tissues, balloons, the whole shebang. Thanks for the link to. am going to link this post to mine. x

  2. Bravo. Or Brava. One of those, I can't remember which.

    ANYWAY. YES. I have got more support and care from my online friends than those in real life. I can't be bothered with the bitching that goes on at the school gate (I am a 13 year veteran, AND kinder president survivor) and bitterly disappointed in the fact that people in real life prefer 'fine thanks' to a real conversation.

    I love my peeps that live in my MacBook. They have literally saved my life.


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