Why??

I am not the world's most organised person, I have to work pretty hard at it.

As I've become more organised I'm also trying to become more efficient. Why do ten half jobs when you can do one properly? Why waste ten times the effort it required to do the job in avoiding it? 

It's something that has always got under my skin, and can make me niggly in the blink of an eye. I am often to be heard muttering "FFS just do it! Stop talking and DO IT!" 


Choosing to marry the Procrastination King was probably not healthy for my eye twitch.


Some days he can wind me up to the point where I'm not far short of homicidal.


Asking him to do a simple job (usually one that is his responsibility anyway) is a sure fire way to raise my blood pressure to the catastrophic level. And if the tv is on forget it. He will go out of his way to go through the lounge room so he can stand, slack jawed, in front of the idiot box, regardless of what's on. I regularly find him standing like a statue in front of such gems as In The Night Garden, or the SBS Weather screen. I KID YOU NOT.


He starts every job and finishes none. But only if he can't find some way to put off starting.


He's been home all weekend and all he's really done is some dishes, and as I look in my kitchen right now the benches aren't wiped, nothing is put away and anything that didn't go in the dishwasher must have turned invisible in his eyes.


He tried to tell me the reason he left a cake in the oven fifteen minutes after the timer went off was because I called him for dinner. Even though I'd been reminding him every two minutes that his damn buzzer had gone off while he was slumped in the lounge chair staring at the tv. Of course it was my fault, he couldn't be procrastinating getting up and taking it out. Never. (I still can't find a sarcastica font. Someone clever should really create one.)


This morning though, his inefficiency really started to have a clear impact on me. 


Our bedroom wall adjoins the carport, and despite the double brick noises echo. Not loudly, just enough to be annoying, to begin waking you from your sleep.


WonderMan is heading off early as he's going down the Yorke Peninsula for a couple of days.


He goes outside to put his bags in the car.


4:30am.


He opens the door. He shuts the door. BANG.


He opens another door, he shuts that one. BANG.


He opens yet another door, slams it shut. Again.... AGAIN..... AGAIN! 


WHAT. THE. FUCK???!!!


He opened and slammed his car doors in quick succession more than THIRTY times. 


He had one bag, an esky, and a bookwork folder. 


He needed to open one door, put some stuff in, shut it again. 


I have no idea what he was doing but it became obvious he was opening and shutting every door in the car, going round and round in circles. 

Did I mention it was 4:30am?


He is so damn lucky he is going away until Wednesday because it will take me until then to get back down to a simmer. 


I'm surprised my eyes didn't shoot lasers at him when he came for his goodbye kiss. And I'm pretty sure he's gone away grumbling that I wasn't "sad enough" about him going away. 


If he went to Antarctica right now he could keep warm simply with the radiant heat of my anger.


Inefficiancy and procrastination can be frustrating. Sometimes I think I will go mad trying to deal with it every day.


But when these stupid actions start to affect my well being I need to perform an intervention.


My only question is how???