But at the same time I am a natural show off.
Give me a chance and I screw up that courage really tight and go for it.
Hard and fast and devil may care.
It's how I end up being the one that does that thing that no one else wants to do.
Part of me tries to hide in the corner but a bigger part of me jumps up and down and waves her hand in the air shouting "Me me pick meeeeeeee!"
When I volunteered last week to be part of my daycare centre's management committee it was the bouncy one talking.
But when I headed out tonight for an informal "Meet and Greet" the painfully shy bit of me was kicking my arse for making it go out in public and play social butterfly with no one to hang on to.
There was a moment of utter panic when I walked out with my wine glass in hand and realised "You have just arrived at a gathering where there are zero people you know in a town you have been in for ten weeks and you are RUBBISH at making conversation".
Thankfully she was kicked to the curb by my insanely optimistic side who attempted to struggle the shy one to the ground while also standing up without looking awkward.
And I found out something really interesting - It didn't matter that I was rubbish at small talk because other people were quite good at it. I just had to follow along.
I even branched out far enough to realise there was a girl looking even more awkward than me and I (haltingly) managed to have a conversation with her and make her laugh.
My second piece of head slapping realisation was that in a situation like this I hold all the cards.
Because no-one knows who the hell I am.
And they all want to know who the new girl is. Especially if she's crazy enough to sign up for a job in the first few months here.
Meet and Greet dusted.
Bring on the dinner meeting (including taxi so I can indulge in a trifle more of the fabulous wine of this delightful region).
Linked up with a bright and shiny IBOT over at Diary of a SAHM
Love this. My bouncy person gets up and has a go, but it's so exhausting! I forget to show an interest in other people, because unless they're waving a flag and doing cartwheels they lose my attention. Sometimes I wonder if I'm socially inept or just socially lazy...
ReplyDeleteI just don't know how to open my mouth and start talking to people. I possibly sound very uptight and snobby, but I'm literally just scared stiff!
DeleteI am like you, but it's rare that my bouncy persona gets out. But she is getting out more a little recently. Rachel x
ReplyDeleteI'm pushing my shy one a bit at a time. A big thing I have found is not to go over the occasion afterwards, as you are more likely to focus on only bad bits and forget all the fantastic ones!
DeleteI'm the same. I'm trying to ignore the side of me that doubts everything and causes anxiety and listen more to the optimistic, bouncy side. As you've shown it's so worth it!
ReplyDeleteIt's really scary isn't it? I found admitting to being a little shy was enough to make other people who looked quite sure of themselves admit they were scared too! And then you know you are all in it together :)
DeleteSo glad the bouncy one won and you had a good time.
ReplyDeleteI get this; if I'm tired or I have nothing in common with people (like at my husbands work dinner) I struggle to be bouncy, though in other situations, I'm all bounce all night!
Thanks Jess! It's hard going out with WonderMan too as he seems to be able to make friends with perfect strangers effortlessly, and I just looked like this snobby wife not talking to anyone!
DeleteEye contact and a big smile works wonders. That's if you're not cross eyed and have teeth! xo
ReplyDelete