But at the same time I am a natural show off.
Give me a chance and I screw up that courage really tight and go for it.
Hard and fast and devil may care.
It's how I end up being the one that does that thing that no one else wants to do.
Part of me tries to hide in the corner but a bigger part of me jumps up and down and waves her hand in the air shouting "Me me pick meeeeeeee!"
When I volunteered last week to be part of my daycare centre's management committee it was the bouncy one talking.
But when I headed out tonight for an informal "Meet and Greet" the painfully shy bit of me was kicking my arse for making it go out in public and play social butterfly with no one to hang on to.
There was a moment of utter panic when I walked out with my wine glass in hand and realised "You have just arrived at a gathering where there are zero people you know in a town you have been in for ten weeks and you are RUBBISH at making conversation".
Thankfully she was kicked to the curb by my insanely optimistic side who attempted to struggle the shy one to the ground while also standing up without looking awkward.
And I found out something really interesting - It didn't matter that I was rubbish at small talk because other people were quite good at it. I just had to follow along.
I even branched out far enough to realise there was a girl looking even more awkward than me and I (haltingly) managed to have a conversation with her and make her laugh.
My second piece of head slapping realisation was that in a situation like this I hold all the cards.
Because no-one knows who the hell I am.
And they all want to know who the new girl is. Especially if she's crazy enough to sign up for a job in the first few months here.
Meet and Greet dusted.
Bring on the dinner meeting (including taxi so I can indulge in a trifle more of the fabulous wine of this delightful region).
Linked up with a bright and shiny IBOT over at Diary of a SAHM
