Friday, 1 June 2012

FFS Friday - The Pillow Fort and Smarties Edition

It's time to whiiiiiiiiiiiine bitches!

I have so much whine you're going to get it in two parts, as I must work in between. 

While you wait for this afternoon's installment... visit Dear Baby G, Parental Parody and all the Friday crew and shower them with well deserved love (although they would probably rather you showered them in wine... what evs...)

Dear Baby G

Everything has gone wrong this week. FFS.

If it hasn't gone wrong all you have to do is wait, because it will go wrong. FFS.

I've had end of day problems every day I've been at work this week. And no reason for them. I have been a recording and perfectionist nazi so how have things gone wrong? FFS.

My customers have been extra stupid. And cranky. And stupidly cranky. FFS

Thankyou to the cousin of the year for sharing this on FB last night - it made my entire week
It's not over yet. I am going to our second site to hide in the corner with some smarties, but no doubt something will go wrong even if I stay in my fort and don't touch anything or breathe. FFS.

I still have the worst freaking sinus thing going on which means I have been hyped up on Sudafed all week because it's the only thing that kills the brain melting pain in my face. FFS.

I hate cold and flu tablets but I hate this cold more. It needs to FOAD. FFS.

WonderMan has killed Frog's bedtime routine. FFS.

When I got home from a meeting at 9pm Monday she was still up, and so hysterically overtired she couldn't string together two coherent words. FFS.

It took and hour of howling to get her to sleep. It's taken an hour every night since. And she gets up every two hours, just as I am getting back to sleep. FFS.

I asked WonderMan to put her to bed last night and he sat on his chair in front of the tv until 8:30 and I had to endure another hour of Frog screaming. FFS.

He doesn't understand why I want to stab him. FFS.

Or maybe he does and that's why he hasn't sharpened my kitchen knives... FFS.

Fear not! I shall return this evening with a BIG glass of wine and a whine!

Have a fabulous Friday!! 

It's almost Saturday so I better get on with it...

 Today was the longest day in the history of forever. I had, at best count, about seven customers. In 7 hours. FFS.

I finally found something to occupy myself and the label maker ran out of tape. FFS.

 I didn't even get to labelling fun stuff like the pens or phones. FFS.

I was seriously looking forward to getting home and having a big glass of wine but I'm now in bed and I haven't even opened the bottle. FFS.

Because just as I was heading home after picking up the girls WM texted to pick him up from work, and when we arrived decided we should meet the crew. FFS.

Which turned into two and a half hours of standing in a freezing cold shed, with a patio heater frying the top of my head, while my high heel encased toes froze off. FFS.

The kids needed to go home at 7pm, and loudly protested daddy's continual attempts to put them off. For an hour and a half. FFS.

Did I mention I haven't got my wine yet? FFS.

It's fucking freezing. We have no wood. Therefor to keep the ice off my eyeballs I am running the ducting, which is definitely melting the icecaps and any chance I will be able to pay my next electricity bill. FFS.

WM keeps promising to go get some wood until I actually ask him to do it, when he becomes instantly deaf. FFS.

My budget says I can afford to buy a load of wood after the next summer solstice. FFS.

WonderMan is snoring the snores of the happily drunk and I have still NOT HAD ANY WINE. FFS.

      I didn't make it to the supermarket so I don't have any chocolate either and I'm cross.

That's it! My first world problems have had their airing and I can get on with finding a way to de-ice my eyebrows.

See you next week whiners!


  1. What's up Wonder Man?? pull up your socks champ!
    I hope your day gets better Nat and if not don't worry about a glass of wine just stick a straw in a goon bag and go for it tonight.
    I love that little bird picture I think I may have to steal it x

    1. I wonder if I can set up some kind of handbag, bendy straw arrangement?

      Steal away! Best. Picture. Evah.


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