For Fucks Sake Friday!

Kudos goes to Dear Baby G, whose invention of FFSFriday is, as she so eloquently puts it, "cheaper than MOFO therapy"

Sit back and enjoy the ride.

We went away on the weekend, and two hours into the trip I got a phone call about something I knew needed to happen, but which was horrible anyway. Way to ruin a weekend. FFS.

I had to pick WonderMan up part way along the drive and even though I stopped for an entire twenty seconds, Frog woke up and instead of going back to sleep, she annoyed Tiger and they fought and whined for the next two and a half hours. FFS.

I did a super quick run through at Maccas to get the kids some Smurfy, Happy Meal "lets stop fighting now" goodness, and grabbed something to keep me from fainting away. They BURNT MY FRIES. FFS.

The map app on WonderMan's iPhone took us a different way to last time, so we got lost within the last 500m of the trip. Including a fascinating circuitous route around Yatala Labour Prison. Interesting, but still... FFS.

I discovered I have become a super lightweight drinker and one glass of fruity beer made my head swim. I need some serious training so I don't fall over embarrassingly at DPCON12 in March, but I probably will anyway... FFS.

I forgot to go to the Typo shop when I was at Harbour Town. Like, where did my brain go? FFS.

As we prepared to drive home from our weekend, I got a phone call to say $1000 dog had decided to crap inside overnight, and instead of on the tiles, in the kids CARPETED bedrooms where he has never gone before. FFS.

Inspection of site revealed we had a prowler that night and dog had been going spastic while walking in aforementioned crap. FFS.

Two Kirby shampoos later and they are only just smelling like bedrooms again. FFS.

I had a rental inspection Wednesday. I went through half a bottle of Febreeze that morning... FFS.

WonderMan wiped the frypan with my brand fucking new Ikea teatowels. Which are now ruined. I have plunged them into a soaking bucket in the hope I may be able to salvage them but cream fabric with big, smudgy, oily stains do not mix. FFS.

I didn't know until this morning so the stains have had all night to set. FFS.

I only discovered it when I went to wash two days of dishes that WonderMan has been "forgetting", even though he would need a forklift to clear enough space to make his lunch in the mornings. FFS.

When I lost my shit about him wrecking everything nice that we have (which he DOES btw, especially if I am said owner....) he responded with "What's your problem? Shit you're moody, have you got your period?"

F. F. S.

What gave you the shits this week?

PS. I have a husband for sale. 

Or giveaway. 

Shit, right now I would pay you to take him away.

Thankful Thursday

It's my first foray into Thankful Thursday.... and if I wasn't so tired I would probably write something terribly deep and meanigful and moving and.... yeah.... sorry.... not gonna happen!

Basically, right at this moment, I am thankful for lots of stuff, but not on a universe level, more of a this-second-someone-is-not-bugging-me kind of level.

First up I'm thankful for the rain. You're probably thinking "Is she MAD??" But I'm thinking from a truckie's wife point of view (O.M.G. I am a truckie's wife..... holy paddle pops....) Rain at the right time is perfect for harvest. It can mean the difference between lots of work and almost no work at all. It can mean a Christmas bonus or nothing under the tree. And also it's making me appreciate the sunshine more. Which I don't get much time to do before it's gets effing hot and I start whining about summer.

I'm bloody thankful I work inside at the moment.

I'm so desperately thankful that WonderMan did not disturb me too much when he left this morning at 5 freaking o'clock. And that I got to sleep in until my alarm went off at seven. And that Frog got up at 7:45. So I got an entire coffee, a shower, and dressed myself before she bothered me!

Very thankful to my beautiful kidlets who ate, washed, dressed and got in the car in a record 20 minutes with no essential things missing and smiles on their faces the whole time. I'm going to relive that moment when my blood is boiling during the usual scream-filled snail race that is my morning.

I'm thankful for having too much work at work, because it's better than not having a job because there's nothing to do. Plus it keeps me busy, burns calories, and ensures I do not lose English as my first language and revert purely to toddler speak.

My thankfullness overflows at the fount of toilet training.... which saw Frog coming home only having ONE yes ONE wet nappy at daycare today. That's in 9 hours. WOO!

I'm thankful that I know the local daycare staff are fantastic, and that despite the automatic mother guilt pangs, she was happy and cared for for those 9 hours, because we all do what we have to do to survive.

Thankful I only work part time and in some ways I get the best of both worlds.

So very very thankful for WonderMan arriving home in one piece, every day, because even though I okayed the career change, knowing I can't hold back his dreams, I have so much fear about losing him. Mind numbing, paralysing fear that is not allowed to escape lest I never come back.

Even though I love dancing... I'm really thankful there's no dancing today. Devils in tutus after 9 hours flat out working would have made my brain implode.

I'm thankful for coming home, kidlet hugs and takeaway (yeah, I cheated)

And most of all, I'm immensely thankful that there is beer in the world, and most importantly, beer in my friedge.

Beer.

Mmmmm... beer.....