Monday 2 April 2012

I Haven't Forgotten My Blogoversary...

I've been hiding from it.

I've been feeling alternately excited and passionate, and depressed and uncaring about it.

My journey started here.  

Closely followed by the Saga of the Spanx Panties.

And there have been quite a few ups and downs since then.

I'm struggling to work out if I'm getting anywhere a year on.

Deep down I know I am, but it's not reflected here much.

This blog was supposed to share and grow as I did. But we got knocked down so many times it became a place I ranted and moaned, shaking my fist at the unfairness of the world.

I'm still shouting at the world but mostly it's from the anonymity of my bedroom as I stuff my face in my pillow and try to keep my whining out of your faces. I'm sick of being "that whinging girl"

I should be embracing twelve months on..... but I ran from it, tried to forget about it..... hope everyone else would too.

And considering I was going to the Digital Parents Conference to mark that year with a bang and now I'm NOT..... well..... time for my pillow fort and a truckload of Smarties please.

 A year on we've finally moved. Got the hell out of hell and arrived in Wine Country. 

It's beautiful.

The people are beautiful.

I have friends. Well, at least two. And that's as many as I had in Hicksville at it's best.

So I'm winning. Definitely winning so far.

I'm struggling with my blog and where I want it to go and I have lots of ideas banging around in my skull but all they're doing is giving me a godawful headache.

DPCON was supposed to be my building block.

So I guess I have to do it on my own.

There are things I want to achieve, here, in my bit of space.

I want to share my journey, and yours. It's not all about the tough times, it's about what we do with them, and what we do with the good times, that make our life. The hows, the whys, the what nows?... I want you to see how we build our way up from the bottom.

I want this batch of ones and zeros to reflect me. Really me. Not the fact that I am dodgy at making things in Paint (see my header.... which I like... but looks like I was three when I put it together).

I want to find out what my voice is worth. 

I want to use that voice.

I want... something. I want to give you something that I've been missing in my random and ballistic word vomits over the last twelve months.

I want to be relevant, and inspiring, and show you that when life looks it's darkest all is not lost.

I'm not happy happy rainbows and lollipops, so if you're looking for sunshine you may be disappointed.  


But I do have a sense of humour, a dog that insists he lives next door and not here at all, and a family that drives me to cry with frustration and overwhelming love at the same time.


I have nowhere to go but up. Want to share my rope ladder?

2 comments:

  1. This is a beautiful, real blog post. I love your honesty. I also struggle with some of these things too. Hope you find your direction as I am trying to locate mine too.

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    Replies
    1. Thankyou so much. I hope to share your journey too x

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